Rowena Calderwood was raised by an anorexic mother who believed that being overweight was a character flaw that should be avoided at all costs.
She hissed at Rowena when she ate or when her body changed, and loudly criticized everyone in sight by analyzing her physique.
For more than two decades, Rowena, now 39, saw herself through that lens — from the perspective of a mother so mentally ill that she believed the only thing she had control over was what she put into her body.
It wasn’t until Rowena hit rock bottom and stole leftover food from abandoned plates in cafes that her perspective on food and health changed.
Speaking to FEMAIL, the young mother, now based on the Gold Coast, revealed how she left her difficult childhood behind to build a successful business that gives back to the Australian Butterfly Foundation.
Rowena Calderwood is the founder of The Butterfly Effect, the CrossFit style for women that raises money and awareness for the Butterfly Foundation
Rowena She often found it difficult to see her difficult start as just that.
“It’s hard because it’s natural to compare it to something worse,” she said.
“But I remember as a child thinking it was scary but normal.
“It wasn’t until I got much older that I realized how abnormal it was – but by then there was nothing I could do about it.”
Her mother was a drug-addicted alcoholic. She suffered from anorexia and manic depression.
“She would be fine and on a lot of medication, but then she would decide to stop taking the medication,” she explained.
Rowena, pictured with her son, describes her childhood as frightening. She says that her mother cared about her slim figure more than anything and taught her children to do the same
Rowena’s mother was born into a powerful Iranian family, just one step away from royalty.
Her father served directly under the king and so she grew up in the palace surrounded by riches.
When the military staged a coup in August 1953, she was forced to flee to Britain with her father.
Here they led a much more modest life. Rowena’s young mother met her father, a man from a humble background, and became pregnant. She ended up having two children.
She never got used to this “poverty” and then it got worse.
“When my grandfather died, all his assets were confiscated, leaving my mother with nothing,” she said.
Growing up in a palace taught her mother that appearances matter most.
“She literally went from riches to rags, that was the start of her poor mental health,” Rowena said.
As she learned to navigate herself as a normal citizen in the UK, she realized this and became obsessed with her weight.
“The only thing she could control was what she ate and what she didn’t eat. “She survived on coffee, cigarettes, drugs and alcohol,” she said.
Rowena grew up with her mother’s disdain for anyone out of shape and did her best to avoid becoming a target.
“I didn’t discount anyone but myself.” “I thought I wasn’t good enough if I sat down with side parts hanging out,” she said.
Not wanting to disappoint her mother by gaining weight, she began to view her body as a problem.
“Eventually I forgot about it, but I saw people the same way for a long time,” she said.
And that’s what Rowena did for a long time – then she became homeless and destitute, which forced her to think differently about food and bodies. Now she wants to help others do the same
Rowena left home at 15 and landed in Australia at 21.
When she was 23, she had no money, no job and no one to help her.
“This was the time before iPhones.” I lived in a tent and started thinking about things. “About the amenities I used to take for granted, like sheets or a chair,” she said.
She lived on bread and jam for weeks. Eventually she was so hungry that food became her biggest priority.
“I remember walking past a coffee shop one day and stealing a sausage,” she said.
“And it made me think about all the things I had been taught about appearance.”
Rowena’s attitude towards food began to change and she realized how important it was to fuel her body with enough energy.
She also began to accept the social significance of a meal.
Rowena leads the Butterfly Effect – an event that inspires the movement and highlights the work of the Butterfly Foundation
Rowena became PT after recovering from her lowest point – which helped her overcome her trauma – pictured a woman from an event
But the young woman’s lowest point was yet to come.
She felt so bad that her tooth crumbled in her mouth. She was in a lot of pain and decided to hitchhike to the Gold Coast, where she got a job in a call center.
Rowena worked there for eight years, early on the boss gave her an advance to fix her tooth and she had a steady income while she thought about the next stage of her plan.
While living on the Gold Coast, she further developed her understanding of food and discovered fitness. That changed her life. She had never trained before.
After going to the gym for a few months, she decided to become a physical therapist.
Over the next few years, she bought and sold gyms before launching The Butterfly Effect event at one of those gyms.
“Women would come into the gym and tell me their goals – it was always about getting fit or looking like someone or something,” she said.
“It was never about improving their health or longevity.” Which I found really sad.
“I wanted to bring women together and focus on something bigger than their looks.”
She realized that everything her mother had taught her about the body, appearance, and womanhood was distorted by her own traumatic history—a woman’s image of her event
She said people like her mother and those who uphold similar beauty standards have a lot to answer for.
“On Instagram you see these women pulling up their tops to show off their stomachs and promote health.” “But the truth is they’re not healthy, a lot of these women don’t have periods and it always turns out that they have some sort of eating disorder,” she said.
“It’s a distorted thing to strive for.”
Rowena in 2019 – she started her butterfly event in 2016 after seeing too many with unrealistic demands on their bodies
The “Butterfly Effect” is a Cross Fit Games-like event in which “athletes” and their friends, whether they are into sports or not, work to complete a series of demanding physical tasks.
The tournament began in 2016 – at that time Rowena offered space for 80 teams and has continued to grow since then.
In 2018, Rowena hired a business partner, Karly Kentwell, who she says has been instrumental in the company’s tremendous growth.
Rowena with her business partner Kelly – who has helped the event grow since 2018
They now host the event in all major cities in Australia as well as the UK.
This year, 1,400 women worldwide will take part in the event.
“This year the Gold Coast event sold out in four minutes with 275 teams of two and 1000 spectators,” she said.
Rowena’s events raise money and awareness for the organization Butterfly Foundationan organization focused on eating disorders, body image and mental health.
