No matter how great a relationship is going initially, sometimes there comes a time when it is time to end things. It’s not what any of us look forward to, but the unfortunate truth is that relationships can take a turn for the worst.
And when that happens, you have to know how to pivot and make the best decision for you. If you have to eventually end the relationship, it is best to have a clear route out of the situation.
It can be difficult to maneuver situations like this without hurting your person’s feelings.
So how do you get out of a relationship, or even become sure that you want it to end? Check out these tips on how to leave a relationship gracefully.
1. Weigh out the pros and cons
The first step is to be sure that you really want to end things. The best way to do this is by making a list of pros and cons. What are the advantages of staying in the relationship, and what are the disadvantages? How would either leaving or staying affect you in the long run? Once you are resolute in your decision, you can begin preparing your mind to actually end things.
2. Try to consider his feelings
If you are deciding to leave your partner, of course, you have to think about things from your perspective. But you also should take some time to consider your partner’s feelings. Everything you do will affect them, especially how you choose to break the news to them. How do they respond to things like this? Consider whether they respond better to a soft approach or just like to have the bandaid ripped off.
3. Make your feelings clear
Breaking up with someone is never easy, but you have to be direct about how you feel. Do not beat around the bush and be as clear as possible about what you want to say to your partner. Being passive or unclear can make this kind of news even worse. It may be easier to be indirect and you may think this is saving their feelings, but all this will do is bring about the opportunity for more confusion and pain.
4. Be completely honest about everything
There is nothing worse than not giving someone closure. Some people end relationships by just saying that they are done with things. This gives no context or understanding for your partner to make peace with your decision. Being upfront and transparent about your feelings will ensure that your partner understands why things took the turn that they did. This is the best way to give your partner a better chance at getting over you in the long run.
5. Choose your words carefully
At this stage, everything you say will have a great impact on your partner. You can anticipate that a touchy and potentially heartbreaking situation like this will bring tension and possibly anger. They may raise their voice or become upset, but you want to try to keep calm regardless of their actions. Try to be as mindful of your words as possible, so that you don’t leave the relationship on a bad note.
6. Stand your ground about how you feel
If your partner is taking it especially hard, they may go into a bargaining phase of the conversation. They could be tempted to try convincing you to change your mind and reconsider the relationship. While this is understandable, you have to be firm about your stance. Unless there is a real reason that you should think about staying in the relationship, do not change how you feel just to appease or save your partner’s feelings. This typically does not end well and only makes breaking up prolonged and even harder to achieve.